Knowing Ourselves – Unravelling Conditioned Behaviour

Integrated self-awareness is something I value very highly. I am passionate about detecting and unravelling conditioned patterns or behaviour, in my own life, and in support of my clients. The discovery of such patterns can provide a sense of empowerment and a sense of knowing ourselves more deeply.

Detecting these conditioned patterns in ourselves can be quite challenging, because they are habitual and usually sub-conscious behaviours. Often, they have developed over many years as a defensive or protective mechanism; and likely were beneficial and supportive in earlier phases of life.

As we grow and evolve, these patterns become prohibitive and self-sabotaging.  

My experience is that the more awareness I can bring to these patterns and behaviours, the easier it becomes to make different, and more empowered, choices. From this space I can choose consciousness and choice rather than being run by automatic habits.

Toward the end of 2018, during a long and intense retreat process, I experienced a significant breakthrough. I realised that one of my unconscious behavioural patterns was around seeking validation and approval from others.

In my interactions with people, particularly when meeting someone new, there was a part of my energy asking “do you like me?” or “am I safe with you?”, and I was constantly analysing and sorting people based on my experience of who liked me and who didn’t.

This was a behaviour that I developed as a child, because I witnessed a lot of conflict during my early years, I developed this pattern as a way of protecting myself. It was necessary and supportive for me to discern who I could depend on during certain times of instability and uncertainty.

What I can now see, are the ways that this particular pattern has impacted the types of connections I have in my life. My need for validation that was coming through, was born from a child version of me and when this is running in the background of my interactions, it inhibits my ability to connect from the empowered woman part of me, that I am today. This kind of pattern will also influence the types of people that I draw into my life, often we draw in those who have similar patterns in their own lives, and this makes them even more difficult to uncover and release.

By bringing a pattern into awareness, we create space for it to be released and to no longer be an underlying driver in life. I find that now, I am much more at ease when I meet people – knowing that they may like me, or they may not and either way that is okay. I am an adult now and can manage my own safety, with or without the approval of others.

I am now much more at ease when I am meeting people, I know that particular pattern is no longer hijacking the way I connect and relate with others.

With this new sense of empowerment and self-awareness, I experience more love, more freedom, more expression and more of my true self in relating with others. 

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At Tantric Blossoming we offer a 5 Day Intensive Retreat called Living Your Essence. This particular Retreat supports people in uncovering and breaking down their habits and patterns. It’s a space in which we invite you to investigate your conditioned behaviours and masks, a space where we support you to look beyond the identities that you have lived and expressed, to break through your self-sabotaging patterns and to come to know your true self more deeply.

Through the use of embodiment practices, we provide the opportunity for you to feel what sits within you and what no longer serves you. To see how you have been living in unconscious behaviour and to start to embody, create and live a more authentic and empowered life!