Masculine and Feminine are big topics in the embodiment space right now, with a lot of controversy and discussion about what it all means and how it impacts our lives. For me, coming into a more full expression of my feminine has been life changing!
When exploring masculine and feminine qualities, energy, balance and embodiment it is important to remember the following principles:
- ALL men and ALL women have both masculine and feminine qualities, and will experience and live out these qualities in a variety of ways
- For most men, embodying masculine qualities is their native disposition (this means the qualities that are more innate in accordance with our gender, rather than conditioning)
- For most women, embodying feminine qualities is their native disposition
Whilst men and women will have a stronger alignment to either masculine or feminine – it’s essential for everyone to access and embody BOTH energies throughout their relationships and daily life.
Over the years, throughout my work, I have witnessed many of my clients lives transform as they come into stronger alignment with their native disposition.
One of the most common misconceptions that I see today is the idea that feminine is primarily about being and masculine is primarily about doing.
Women will often say that they’ve been operating from their masculine because they have been busy, they have been doing a lot and their schedule is full. Usually what follows this is a desire for time off, for some space to just be and relax… and the misconception here is the assumption that this comes from feminine desire.
My experience, and what I know to be true, is a little different…
At its core, masculine embodiment is stillness; the classic example is the monk sitting in the cave meditating.
At its core, feminine embodiment is energy; the archetypal expressions are colour, movement and sound; the ocean is a great representative of this.
Studying Chinese Medicine, and the principles of Yin and Yang, has supported my understanding of masculine and feminine concepts.
Chinese Medicine recognises 14 key meridians (energy systems) in the body. Each meridian is associated with an organ in the body, with each organ and meridian being either yin (feminine) or yang (masculine).
The yin organs are organs that are working constantly, without ever stopping. They work at a steady pace, consistently and do not become burnt out. E.g. The heart, lungs, spleen, kidney and liver.
The yang organs work actively for a period of time and then stop, with bursts of intense work, they achieve what they need to and then rest. E.g. the small intestine, large intestine, stomach, bladder and gallbladder.
This has been a powerful reference point for me, over my many years exploring masculine and feminine qualities and dynamics.
Masculine energy is driven to achieve, accomplish and complete. There is a constant and underlying desire to “get it done” and then move towards stillness. The Masculine craves time and space to do nothing. We often see this desire expressed by men needing time in their “man cave”, playing video games, watching television, time in contemplation or meditating.
Essentially, underneath the desire to accomplish, is the desire to get everything done and then be still and do nothing.
Feminine energy wants to express, feel and move. There is a desire for fullness, connection and expression, and an underlying desire to feel and be felt, to receive and be received, to love and be loved. Feminine energy is incredibly powerful and is best experienced through our bodies – through movement, sound and connection. E.g. time spent with loved ones talking, through dancing, or through art and creativity.
Essentially, the feminine desire is for fullness – fullness of energy, creativity and expression. This desire for fullness is also part of the reason why feminine women like men to ejaculate inside of them, as an internal feeling of fullness.
Coming back to the aforementioned misconception that masculine = doing and feminine = being
My own personal experience has shown me time and time again, that it is actually the feminine in me who overschedules and creates busy-ness in my life. The feminine in me is the part that wants life to be full and dynamic and creative and connected, and will often overcommit in an attempt to feel full.
The masculine in me will push to get the job done, will move towards achievement and then wants to switch off and do nothing. The masculine moves towards completion as a pathway to stillness.
One of the ways I engage my masculine is to create structure in my life; planning and knowing when I will rest, when I will work, when I will take time off, when I will connect with friends, with Rod or with clients etc. Within this masculine structure my feminine can be creative, inspired and expressive without being overcommitted and becoming burnt out.
From this space I have a deeper sense of internal integration and both parts of me are more balanced, more fully expressed and more alive.