Loving yourself in all the right ways will change your life beyond your wildest imaginings. Self-love is immensely powerful and an experience that needs to be lived and embodied to be truly understood. It is the gift of intimacy with you.
Self-love is to know and accept yourself, feeling your longings and needs without judgement, and being honest with yourself about your feelings. Self-love is choosing behaviours that are deeply nourishing to your inner wellbeing.
Self-love is critical to a sustainable, healthy and fulfilling life. For self-love to be embodied, there may be some deep healing practices required. The inner emotional discomfort when left unaddressed will inhibit the expression of self-loving behaviours.
Many people spend their lives intoxicated with the accomplishments of a successful life. Often desperately ignoring the emptiness underneath, the discontent of not being at home in one’s own body, the restlessness of never being fully satisfied.
I know this longing for more, the hunger inside. It’s a cry for self-love, and to become intimate within.
My first attempts at self-love were focused on the external, doing something nice for myself, having a holiday or buying a new dress.
Crisis became my turning point. I knew that there was nowhere else to go but inside. It was a call for a more authentic life, and the first step was to dismantle the patterns and masks, so that I could discover authentic self-love.
Crisis can be excruciating and a massive pattern breaker.
You may have experienced this in your own life or seen it in the life of someone you love. Crisis activated me to attend more deeply to my own healing and subsequent self-love. This was the catalyst for the work I have been doing with men and women over the last 11 years.
When things fall apart in life, people stop and learn to listen more fully on the inside. This is when healing begins. Listening includes allowing space for painful feelings, hearing the previously unacknowledged desires for change and the possibility to be guided by intuition. These are the critical steps of healing which will catalyse the embrace of self-love.
As feelings are expressed and validated, doors of self-validation open. Releasing long-held beliefs and feelings leads to a new way of being.
After my crisis, intuition took me to Sydney and 4 months of intensive healing. This led to unearthing and expressing strong emotions and releasing limiting beliefs. I discovered a more gentle me within. I followed my natural instincts for daily self-care such as walking in parklands, singing, writing, and meditating. This felt incredibly self-loving and enriching.
I felt softer and more alive. One of the standout moments was effortlessly giving up smoking when I realised how incongruent the behaviour was with my new sense of self.
It takes dedication to listen to the inner world. However, the fruits are enormously beneficial in all areas of life. Self-love changes relationships with intimate partners, family, friends and colleagues. A loving approach to self will be conducive to respectful and harmonious connections with others.
Self-love includes feeling and listening to your body’s natural urges such as being thirsty and hungry or knowing when to rest and when to play. A deep inner yes to yourself leaves you free to say yes and no in the appropriate places externally.
People who engage in self-love are more compassionate and thoughtful towards others, in a way that is self-sustaining. Often those who give a lot to others, end up resentful, burnt out and exhausted because the giving comes from emptiness inside. When self-love is present, you can feel full and nourished from within and not be pushing in your external behaviours. You will know when to give and when to pull back.
My life is like a laboratory where I try things out and use what works with my clients. I guide my clients regularly to become their own parent, to talk to the child inside with reverence and compassion. To create a new imprint, participants may be held by a fellow participant or a facilitator and receive loving parental acknowledgment.
Being lovingly held with intent carves the way for self-love to take hold. Once loving has been deeply felt, the body memory will facilitate the re-creation of that experience. I find that clients, who are committed to their inner healing, are much more easily able to sustain self-love in daily life.
In other instances, I will guide participants to be their own best lover, to touch their body in ways that only they know how. Breathing deeply into the belly, the heart and the genitals, feeling sensual and sexual energy being aroused from within is one of the most self-loving acts I know. To touch one’s own body in a way that is instinctive, honouring and sexy wakes up all the sensations inside and sends out an almighty yes!
Self-love is giving yourself the gift of being your own most amazing lover, most protective parent and devoted partner. Self-love is profound and can make a huge difference to your life when it’s understood and fully embraced.
Enjoying a deep intimate connection with oneself means that you will look for these types of connections in the world around you. Knowing and accepting yourself creates a sense of ease and flow in the world. I have worked with many people whose whole lives have transformed dramatically. I feel that the inner healing work is an incredibly valuable step to self-love. As healing happens, the possibility of love expands greatly.