Desiring more depth in your relationship? Try Tantric Techniques
Mentioning Tantra often conjures up images of tricky sexual positions, the karma sutra or Sting’s references to 8 hours of tantric lovemaking. Tantra can include those things and it is more than that. The simplicity of Tantra can be astounding. Tantric Techniques can provide fuel for reigniting the passion in your sexual relationship. Taking you deeper into sensation, feeling and union with your partner.
LONGING FOR SEXUAL INTIMACY
In today’s world, the importance of sexual intimacy is severely undervalued and overlooked. Many write sex off without truly investigating what is possible. In working with men and women for over 12 years, I have seen a common pattern. Men and women both desire greater sexual intimacy. Not just more sex. Deeper intimacy.
In many relationships, there is a lack of real communication about desires, which often means that disappointments and unmet longings go underground.
Almost everyone I work with expresses a longing for more sexually. Even those who are satisfied sexually feel an innate longing for the mysterious element of more.
MEN AND WOMEN AND SEXUAL DESIRES
Men and women react differently when this longing for more is not met. Men tend to desire sex more often and with more variation, in an attempt to meet the need for deeper intimacy. Women who have experienced sexual disappointment one too many times shut down; deciding it’s too hard to open again.
So even though it seems that men and women have different sexual appetites, what may lie underneath the discord often comes from a place of similar disappointment, different reaction.
People may come to Tantra with the hopes that Tantric techniques are going to offer a quick fix. Tantric techniques are powerful. However, the most powerful experience is in utilising those techniques to dive deeply inside. Opening the longing for more is about learning to tune into one’s own body first, so that the alchemy between partners can be taken to whole new levels.
MY FAVOURITE TANTRIC TECHNIQUE 1 – BREATHE
My favourite Tantric Technique is learning to effectively utilise the breath. Untold mysteries lie within the proper use of our breath. When we breathe fully and deeply, we open the lungs and activate the flow of energies in the pelvic bowl, creating movement of sexual energies. Utilising this type of breath in a sexual experience activates greater potency, power and depth between your body and your partner’s body.
Experiment with activating a full breath solo by placing one hand over the lower belly – almost on the pubic bone and the other hand on the heart area. Breathe in through your nose without pulling the chest up – let the ribs expand in all directions – front, side and back ribs drawing in the breath. As this happens, the diaphragm drops down and the abdominal muscles expand, creating a ripple effect into the pelvic floor and genitals. This breath can take some time and practice to develop. But just like working out new muscles at the gym, be patient and do regular practice.
When you are making love with your partner, take time before you begin touching, to simply sit and breathe together. Gaze (not staring) into each other’s eyes gently and breathe. This slows both your energies down, synchronizing your breath and nervous system. Bringing you both into greater individual and partner attunement. Don’t underestimate how profound this simple technique can be.
During lovemaking come back to this attunement with your breath, allowing deeper sensations to flow within the body.
MY FAVOURITE TANTRIC TECHNIQUE 2 – BODY AS FEEDBACK DEVICE
Another of my favourite Tantric Techniques is experiencing our bodies as feedback devices. Our bodies are constantly exchanging feedback and energies, it simply requires reorienting one’s attention to become aware of this information. Feedback and breath go together, the more attuned I am to my breath, the more I can sense the inner changes in my body as a response to my partner’s touch or movement.
When my partner and I are interacting sexually and he is breathing deeply, my body opens and expresses waves of powerful orgasmic energy. When his breath and energy is suppressed, or if he is in his head thinking, my body becomes less responsive.
Even in caressing my partner’s skin, I can feel whether he is open to receiving my touch or resisting the connection between us or distracted by something that happened earlier in his day. Any part of our body that is contact with our partner’s body receives feedback. The more fully we breathe, the more fully we can register this feedback.
If I am disconnected, my partner can deepen his level of breath and presence in the body, which will encourage me to feel my way back to centre and connection. Likewise, my connection to my breath and body can become the invitation for him to more fully engage in the moment.
To become familiar with your body as a feedback device, close your eyes whilst your partner touches your body. The touch is to be sensual, but not overtly sexual. Giving you space to open and unwind and register the feelings more deeply. Have your focus inside your body rather than on what your partner is or isn’t doing. Your partner’s role is to register the sensations in their hand, breathing into their hand and being aware of whether to go faster, slower, to use more pressure or less pressure. The more your partner is attuned to their breath and body, the more easily they will read your body. The more you are inside of your body and deeply breathing, your body will pass the appropriate signals through the skin and to your partner’s hand.
This can extend all the way from hand caressing body into sexual penetration. Developing this feedback means that the penis and vagina become sensitive to feeling and reading each other and innately knowing how to move and be with each other.
LEARN MORE ABOUT BREATH
If you are curious to learn more about the power of the breath, watch this video where I experience orgasmic waves through my body simply from breathing.
To bring the power of these two powerful Tantric Techniques into your sexual experiences, take time to focus on breathing and body feedback each day. Using the breathing above, with your hands on your body to activate awareness of the inner feedback. If your mind wanders keep coming back to focusing on the feeling of the breath and sensations in the body.
GOING DEEPER SEXUALLY
As simple as it sounds this practice can keep on taking you deeper and deeper within. The idea is that you build up the inner mechanism of feeling energy in your body. Being able to do this solo empowers you to feel more sensations and a deeper level of engagement with your partner.
If you would like to be guided in developing this Tantric Technique, check out the guided practices for men and women available in our shop.
Never underestimate the power of the breath. The more you breathe, the more you feel. Even if at first, the feeling is very slight, breathe into that and allow space for it to expand. Energy expands when it is given space and permission. Attempting to force something is always counter-productive.
Remember those times when you have attempted to force orgasm – in yourself or your partner. It only creates tension and contraction, whilst strangling pleasure and the possibility for opening.
Breathing and experiencing the feedback of the body are my favourite Tantric Techniques. And they work. 1000s of Tantric Blossoming clients have experienced the benefits of these practices.
Breathing deeply accelerates feeling, creating deeper sexual intimacy. Enhanced sexual intimacy leads to remarkable changes in communication, daily lifestyle, and overall life enjoyment.
People who are enjoying deeper sexual union feel more alive, vital and content. Take yourself back for a moment and remember those days of a new relationship when you were all abuzz with energy. It is possible to recreate those feelings with Tantric Techniques.