The very first time I attended a Tantra workshop was like an epiphany – I felt like I had “come home”. I’d discovered practices that helped me to feel whole, and I sensed that it would soon be transforming my entire life. Tantra allowed me to access the power and wisdom in my body, to truly feel, and to understand what it was to be present to all that was within and without.
As a young child, I was aware that there were many different aspects to my being, and I struggled to reconcile those aspects. There was a sensitive and intuitive side to me – the feeler and the observer. I was deeply curious about what it meant to be human, and why we do what we do. Another part was my highly driven and intellectual side – the part that went on to lead me into high-powered positions in the corporate world. This work challenged me intellectually, yet left me feeling somewhat empty. Another aspect was my creative and artistic side, which drew me to training as a dancer, musician and writer.
The culture that I’d been born into had encouraged certain parts of me to be fully recognised and nourished (such as my intellectual and “productive” parts), yet left my sensitivity, artistic and creative sides relatively undernourished. My sexual side was not acknowledged in a healthy way, and felt separate to me. The more I realised this, the more it started to grate at me… and I started to crave greater connection and integration of all of my parts. I started on the path of self-discovery, hoping to achieve some peace and clarity. I explored Vipassana meditation, I read self-development books, attended retreats, learned massage, studied psychology, delved into shamanic practices, and explored the mental and physical worlds through many modalities.
I learned and grew, and life was full of interest. I had some wonderful relationships, and enjoyed my sexuality. Yet a niggling sense of underlying dissatisfaction lingered. I couldn’t shake the feeling that life was excessively difficult at times, that I was doing too much, striving too hard, and that I wasn’t getting what I really wanted from my life and relationships. Then I discovered Tantra. Suddenly my sexuality could be seen as a healthy and creative force, rather than something to be ashamed of or ignored. A path that welcomed my feelings, emotions, passions, challenges and gifts – a place where I could be me – ALL of me… fully seen, fully heard, and fully accepted.
Through Tantra, I learned that I had been repressing many elements of my feminine self in order to fit in with a fast-paced world that values success and achievement. And that by doing so, I was doing myself a disservice. I was living out of balance, and I was denying myself the ability to access deep intimacy and ecstasy. I learnt that some of the men around me had also been repressing many aspects of their masculinity and sexuality in an attempt to avoid being seen as domineering or inappropriate – rather than learning how to direct their energy in healthy ways. This was an awakening that changed my life.
Tantra helped me to balance my own masculine and feminine, to find a wholeness in myself, and a way to live that feels authentic and meaningful. Tantra taught me how to integrate the sexual, emotional, feeling, sensing and thinking parts of my being in a way that has helped me to feel fully grounded in my body and my heart. It has expanded my capacity for pleasure, to relate with others, and it has greatly enhanced my intimate relationships. I now feel blessed to be sharing the Tantric path with others. My greatest passion is helping people to reconnect to themselves, to their emotions and their bodies so that they can truly open and connect authentically within relationships. When we know who we truly are, and what we truly want, we can find and nurture engaging, fulfilling and sexually satisfying relationships that reflect our heart’s deepest desires.